Do you find yourself in a hole always worrying about what you’re ‘meant’ to be doing next? Moving out, travelling, falling in love, buying a house, marriage and kids all seem to me society’s markers of how successful someone’s life is. Unfortunately, I am a prime example of a millennial falling prey to the standards our parents set out for us. Ok, maybe not traveling. That’s our social media obsession.
I currently have an issue where every couple months I get myself in a tiz wondering when I’ll move out. For reference, I live at home with my parents, and my brother plus his girlfriend and my 8 year old niece. That’s a lot of people in one house, especially when that house is not very big.
In part, my obsession comes from the situation. Another, is wondering why I’m not doing the same as all my friends and renting. “I’m saving for a house!” I confidently state/shout whenever someone asks why I’m living at home. The truth? I am saving for a house, but would love to move out but am also terrified of then not being able to afford somewhere and still be able to save for a future home.
The long and short of it is, when my boyfriend says “when I move out I want to buy my own place without a partner,” queue panic.
Does he not want to live with me? Am I too annoying? But it’s HIM who leaves the toilet seat up! How am I going to afford a house on my own?
It seems a common issue that we always feel as if we should be going towards something. This leaves one giant issue however. When you’ve got this house, the marriage and the kids (if you want all these things), then what?
In all honesty, I don’t think anyone knows, which begs the alternative which is that we all need to somehow stem our anxiety about the future and attempt to live in present. Shocking I know! In a world which is telling us to be faster, work harder and achieve everything maybe we need to reset the goal posts and say, actually I just want to enjoy today.
Extremely hard for someone like me who has always been told as a ‘high-achiever’ (NOTE: only in school, this does not last in the real world) I should be further ahead. Now, I’m attempting to learn to live in the moment, take the days as the come and savour the small pleasures.
I finished a book last night, and I’ve started the next in the series. For now, that’s enough of an achievement. The house will still be there in another 10 years.
Nights At The Circus 